Member-only story
Diego, God Amongst Tortoise
Diego Tortoise, king of kings, is the hero we need in these dark times. A little joy in an otherwise disparaging world.
Diego is a Hood Island Tortoise, a species from the Galapagos Islands, specifically Espanola Island, and speculated to have hatched somewhere in the 1910s. In the late 1940’s he was captured and put in the San Diego zoo. In 1976 when his species’ population consisted of only him and 14 other tortoises, the zoo knew what they needed to do: To fuck.
Unlike a lot of animals, Turtles can’t mate unless the female companion wants to. The female turtle has to extend her tail and lift it so the male tortoise’s phallic cloaca can have access. That means these females wanted Diego. One must imagine Diego hung… like a turtle. Move over horses. There’s a new sheriff in town.
For over 40 years, Diego the Tortoise never stopped fucking, and he started at like 60. His game is that good. This tortoise is my new hero, and I hate that I’ve only heard about him just now. Diego has single-handedly saved his species from extinction. What a Chad.
